Hello again

It's been a really long time since my last post. But I'm irritated and I like telling stories and would rather do it here instead of on my facebook. At least people make the choice to read what I write here instead of having to see it on my facebook.

Anyway, let me tell you a little story. When I was 21, I moved out of my mother's and in with my friend into an apartment in Echo Park. I was still drinking. So I frequently made bad decisions. Like the time I had a friend over. And we stayed up all night. All while my 26 year old roommate was sleeping in the room next to mine. We made a lot of noise. And she had to get up at 6am for work. Well apparently in the middle of the night her room felt like it was shaking. She got up and started to walk to my door and see if I had awoken from this earthquake as well. But as she got closer, she realized I was awake. And there was no earthquake. It was me and the "friend" in my room, getting busy. She then referred to him as 6.0. Anyway, the reason for this story is that she told me all of this. And I didn't think it was weird that she was calling me out on it. I was mortified that she had heard. I apologized. And probably laughed a bunch. But she said it was ok. She was embarrassed as well and just left for work early that day and got ready there. I didn't make it a regular thing. Although, because I drank, I don't remember if that's true or not.

So, today, it's 5 years later. I'm a little older. I don't drink. I make better decisions. Sorta. Well, while sitting in my kitchen with my friend who spent the night last night, (no, nothing happened) we were eating waffles, talking, laughing not being quiet. It was obvious we were home and sitting in there, that's the point I'm getting at it. And it was 2pm. We started hearing noises. And I stopped talking. And to my surprise it was my 20 year old roommate having sex with her boyfriend. Awesome. Not really. I don't want to hear that. That's gross. Those are things I like to pretend don't happen between some people. So when my friend (who was equally embarrassed) left, I texted my roommate to tell her that we had been in the kitchen for the last hour. She said "that's nice." That was not the response I was looking for. So I said "So you don't think it's weird that we just heard you having really loud sex?" And she replied "I think it's weird that you're calling me out on it". I said "well that's fine, It's still really inappropriate and inconsiderate" And she actually told me that she didn't know we were in the kitchen and that we could have gone into another room if I had a problem with it. I don't think that's the correct response to such a situation. A simple "Oh, god! I'm sorry. I didn't know you guys were in there!" And I would have replied, "that's cool. Just check next time." And all would have been cool. No weirdness. But no, now I'm irritated. And do you know what her facebook status update is now? "Can't wait for September." Now, that's either a dig at me, because the lease is up. Or that's when she's planning on going on vacation. Which I don't think so, because who moves and goes on vacation the same month?

So my moral to the story is, don't be a dick.

Responsibilities...

when you grow up... there are things you don't want to do but you have to do them, so you do them. How come some people don't believe this? How come some people make other people do these other things, just because other people don't have a job doesn't mean they have the time to get up at 8am to do other people's responsibilities. I'm just saying.

Vegan Ice Cream, yum yum

So I've only been here once, but it was scrumptious. Wheeler's Black Label Vegan Ice Cream. It was kinda pricey for me. Maybe that's why I haven't been back. That I don't have a job to afford expenses like ice cream. I'd rather go home and bake cookies or make my own ice cream.
Anyway, I was looking for blogs about Boston Vegan Food and came across their blog and noticed their hours.... why on earth would a vegan ice cream shop have by appointment only days? Thursday and Sunday. So ridiculous.

I don't have anymore to say.

Wheeler's Frozen Desserts
334B Massachusetts Avenue
Boston Massachusetts 02115
P 617-247-0048 / theveganscoop.com

Angry and Upset...

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Where are you from?

So... this has been an on going conversation amongst some friends and I. People that say they're from (insert major city here) when they're actually from (insert city 45-60min away).

I live in Quincy, MA. That's about 15-20 from anywhere in Boston. I say I live in Boston to people that don't know. To people that do, I live in Quincy.

Well, I hear it sooooo much more from people talking about Los Angeles. Just because it's LA county, doesn't mean you are from LA. I'm sorry. I grew up on Bronson and Franklin. I AM from LA. Maybe that makes me elitist, but I'm sorry.

Before I moved, I lived in Burbank. Burbank is directly over the hill from Hollywood. It's like 15 min away. I still said I lived in Los Angeles to those that don't know.

LA is made up of I'd say, and I couldn't find any data to make myself up, mostly people not born in LA. Actually "When it comes to cities, Los Angeles claims 41 percent of its population - or 1.5 million - come from another country. "

I don't have any more to say at the moment. Going to go back to listening to some good music.

Hey kids!

So how awesome is this?! I got a message today from a consignment boutique in NY wanting to sell my things in their store! I'm pretty stoked. We'll see how it turns out. But this is the first time someone has sought me out.

Also, there are 2 stores here that I've been meaning to set up a meeting with to talk about them carrying my jewelry in also. It's a matter of not wanting to be turned down, that makes me procrastinate in doing so. :(

Also, I'd really like to make it back to California in July. There are several bands coming through that I would love to see. Makes my little heart skip a beat thinking about seeing them. We'll see how that goes. Looks doubtful.

I went out yesterday with my friend, who also just moved to Massachusetts from Los Angeles, and we went and had Thai food from My Thai in Chinatown. yum yum. Connie was excited about getting some thai food. While she was gushing about what she was going to eat (bbq chicken), I pointed out they don't have that there. She said "WHAT?! What do you mean? Of course they do. All Thai places do." And I said, "um, wanna bet?" With a huge grin. "They don't serve meat at all there." She instantly looked heart broken. Like she was thinking "fucking asshole tricked me into going to some hippie place to eat" Well, she was pleasantly surprised that it was tasty. We walked a lot. (I was going to insert "wicked" somewhere in there, but I refuse to submit to that.) Anyway, we had Tealux, well I had Tealux. I really do love me some tea. And then later we went to the park for some fried dough only to realize it was gone and we were shit outta luck. So, we went for a walk around the park. Saw a hot dude and I smiled. I really do need some damn male attention. I'm lonely over here. Geeze. Then I casually suggested we walked back towards the T in hopes we'd see my pierced dreamboat somewhere over there. False.

Speaking of dreamboats. There are a lot of red heads here. I'm in red head heaven here. Geeze. **replaying note from self dated a few months ago: "Note to self, next boyfriend will be a red head." end transmission** Looks promising. Maybe I'll like it here if I go meet some sexy boys. Hmm... show tomorrow at All Asia.... maybe I'll meet some men there.

Know-it-all's, NOT-INTO-THEM.

Not being able to vent about things openly on my facebook and myspace has made me want to burst at the seems. There are lurkers everywhere waiting for me to say something they can repeat. So here's my only outlet.

We learn things. All the time. Starts at birth. We learn to walk, talk, read, write, have our own opinions, pick up our toys, say please and thank you, be helpful, be courteous, help others in need, fix things, grow things, to not say anything if you don't have anything nice to say, not be rude, listen to people, be respectful, etc.

So where does that all go when we grow up? How do we forget about these things?! Respecting other people's belief's. Cleaning up after yourself. Not being rude about it when asked to. Not saying anything if you don't have anything nice to say. Listening to other people's feelings because they are just as valid as your own, regardless of how stupid you think they are. Helping to clean up the table when someone has just made breakfast/lunch/dinner. Or reading people's actions.

I know, if something's wrong, say something. Don't be that dumb, annoying person that says everything's fine, when everything isn't fine. But when you say what's wrong and the person walks away because they think you're being ridiculous... Doesn't really make you want to open up all that much.

Is it not possible to have a happy medium between people? Can't you say "hey, I'm having a really hard time with everything that's going on. I need some space. You can't be doing everything for me." Why do I then feel abandoned? Left COMPLETELY ALONE.

I know. I seem crazy. And all these things that I talk about... no one else sees them. It's as if, when no one is around, we don't speak. But the second someone is around, I'm being spoken to again. Knowing I talk about what's going on. As if to cover the tracks. Now I really do sound just cryptic and crazy.

Well, this turned into an intense post. I guess I should end it here.

Oh! But wait, I will add one more intense thing.

Awhile back, while looking through my CD's I found the CD I had burned of a mix tape my friend Ian sent me in 2004, right because his death. Well, I made a myspace music page of this tape. Well, his daughter's mother's sister contacted me through there. She had all these great pictures of him and of his daughter that she wanted to tag of him. His daughter, Sophie, is 8 years old now. And she really is beautiful. And it made me so damn sad. I know exactly how she will feel over the years, as she gets older, as she realizes more and more what happened. And misses him and longs for him to be in her life. Dreaming that it wasn't true. That her mother was just protecting her from a life she didn't want for her. But knowing, it's true.... he's gone. She'll never know him.

If you are reading this blog for the first time and don't know me, well then here's a little background. My dad died when I was 5 years old. He was told to leave when I was 3. He did drugs. And that's what eventually killed him, here in Boston. Maybe that's why I'm here. I'm afraid though, if I stay here as long as he did, I may give up also.

Well, Sophie, Ian's daughter was 3 years old when he passed away. Drugs are what got him also. It's such crap that some how, even though I don't do drugs, and I barely knew my dad, I can't seem to date someone without a drug problem. It's as if the ones that don't use, are boring. As if I crave the problems and the heartache.

2 years ago I lost another friend, Chuck, to drugs. Chuck had been sober off and on. And I had met him after Ian had passed away. So when he started using again, I told him I couldn't be around that. I couldn't stand the pain again. And we stopped talking. In '07 we started talking again. He died in Oct shortly after that. I was crushed of course....

g'night friends... now that I've rehashed all these awful feelings it's time for bed. I've already had a rough evening of crying on the phone with my mom.

xoxo

p.s. I love you too Ian, I didn't get to tell you that enough. I love you and miss you so damn much that it kills me inside....

Drug Free

Ok, so many of you know I don't drink. It's been over 2 years now. So for those of you that don't know me, here's a little explanation on the bottle cap magnets on my etsy site.
I don't drink. I'm not 100% sure whether the beers that those bottle caps came from, is vegan. I did not drink those beers. My roommate did. And he saves the bottle caps for me. He tries to watch what goes into his body as well. But I don't know if he's gone as far as looking into what is in those beers. ie gelatin/fish bladders and such. I can't think of the word at the moment. isinglass! that's what it's called.
So, I'm not condoning drinking or drinking non-vegan beers at all. I like the images on the bottle caps. Hell, I don't even know the names of the beers they came from.
So if you have a problem with it, well then, I'm sorry.

A Few Updates For You...

Now that I start to type, I forgot what I wanted to update everyone on, so I'll start... oh I remember now.

A few weeks ago I posted a blog about a hunting club ordering buttons from me. Well, I finally decided I couldn't just donate the money, it would come off as me being spiteful and I didn't want to be a jerk. So I declined the order with this lovely email:

Dear ***,

I know I have not handled this well, and I apologize for that. I am still out of town. While in WA my grandfather passed away and I had to stay longer. And with all that happening everything else fell to the waste side, along with getting back to you. With that said, I've given it a lot of thought, and I'm sure you were confused by my last question. The reason I ask, was because I didn't want to jump to conclusions as to what these were for. I mean no disrespect to you or your organization, but I don't feel like I can go against my beliefs on this one. I would of course make buttons for you, just not an organization of hunters. I really wish I had replied to you sooner to tell you this, but with all this going on in my family, like I said, it got pushed aside so I could care for my family and mourn my grandfather's death.
I'm really sorry, and I mean to disrespect to you or your beliefs. I really hope you understand this. I cant stress it enough how sorry I am that I didn't handle this better. Feel free to use the artwork I re-did for you. And I'd love to recommend you to someone else in California. She's done buttons for people I know out there and she does t-shirts and stickers as well. You can visit her website at http://www.angrygirl.org/ They're in Tarzana, CA.
In regards to your check, I can mail it back or put it through the shredder. I have not cashed it. Just let me know what you'd like me to do.

Sincerely,
Jenny Stench

********************************

As a business letter, I think I handled this really well, other than taking too damn long to tell him all of this.

Here was his reply:

Hi Jenny,

Please mail the check back to me for accountabliity.

There are a lot of people in this world that enjoy the shooting sports. It is the shooters that contribute more money to animal conservation and preservation that any other group in the world. Take example ducks.........if it was not for Ducks Unlimited that purchased land and worked with the government to protect the breading grounds through the sales of duck stamps and ammunitions sales why we still have a duck population today.

Please............I do not want you to make the buttons for us and just want you to return the check.

********************************************

What a weird reply, don't you think? He didn't seem to really read my email or even care about what I was trying to get across to him.

Grandpa.... and my vacation

I'm not sure if I mentioned, but I've been out of town since the 1st of April. I first went to LA to hang with friends and go to my best friend's wedding. I booked my next flight late, so I had to wait 'til the 13th to leave LA and head to Portland to see my grandfather. When I called my uncle, I was informed that my Grandfather had been in the hospital for the last week and a half.
I got into Portland Monday night and my wonderful friend, Brian over at Scapegoat Tattoo picked me up and we went out to eat at the By and By. (Not sure how it's spelled or anything, I mean,I could look it up, but I don't feel like it.)
Anyway, I had a vegan meatball sub and collard greens. It was scrumptious. Next we went to Voo Doo Donuts and I had my first vegan doughnut. And I couldn't tell you when the last time I actually had a doughnut was. Maybe, 5 years ago. This one was a jelly filled man with a chocolate glaze. Oh man.... so good.
Then we went back to his place and passed out. In the morning, we walked over to SweetPea Baking Company and had some lunch/breakfast. I had the UnChicken salad Sandwich, which of course was fantastic and had lots of mustard on it. It was made of TVP (Textured Vegetable Protein).
While waiting for my uncle to pick me up, I went over to Food Fight Grocery to buy some essentials I didn't bring with me and then my uncle arrived with his wife.
From there we went straight to the hospital in Clackamas, OR. I'm going to to have to skip a bunch of stuff, because I don't have much time, and I don't want to cry all over my computer and in the middle of this starbucks.
We sat with my grandpa for a few hours. My uncle, Bruce, his wife, Mary, my grandpa's wife, Ann, and her friend Pam, were all there holding his hands and talking to him in between his naps.
This was Tuesday. After the hospital, we went back to Bruce's and I stayed the night there. Wednesday we woke up, had oatmeal, and went on over the hospital where we met Ann and her friend Pam, who were already there. This was at 11:30am. We ended up staying until about 6:30pm. During which, grandpa's friend, Bernie stopped by and shortly after the Pastor of his church and his wife showed up.
Most may know, I'm not religious. I don't believe. But, I bit my tongue and held hands respectively while the Pastor said some words.
That morning, Grandpa decided he had had enough of the tubes and such. He asked to be taken off them and didn't want anymore pain medication. We convinced him, he should be comfortable and agreed to the morphine and also requested some anxiety medication for his nerves.
We had planned on coming back this morning to get a picture of his tattoos so I had a reference to draw from, and also to get a picture of me and him, in his navy uniform, at his request.
We left the hospital and went back to Ann's (I had decided to stay with her because she wasn't sleeping much and I wanted to make her dinner). Bruce and Mary ended up coming over also. I made my famous tomato sauce with chunks of squash, zucchini, mushrooms, olives, tomatoes, green bell peppers and garlic over angel hair pasta. I also made some garlic bread to go with it.
After dinner, I had homemade cookies ready to be scarfed. They didn't last long and today the last one was finished off.
At 10:21pm, the phone rang. Ann had finally gotten to sleep and everyone was resting trying to get the food settled because we all seemed to eat too much.
I answered, and it was the hospital. I thought it was some billing of something. I said I was Wally's granddaughter and the woman on the other line, with out warning, says, I've been trying to get a hold of you to inform you that you grandfather passed away about 30 minutes ago. With a gasp, I said hold on and handed the phone to my his wife, Ann. Which of course, went about the same and she handed the phone to Bruce.
I sat crying with Ann for a bit. And then immediately got up and called his friend Bernie, before it got too late, so that he wasn't surprised when he arrived at the hospital in the morning. He then called the Pastor and the church phone tree was alerted.
Today, my duties involved writing and Obituary, calling his last living relatives and Navy buddies. I got to call Haysi, VA, where he's from and spoke to his cousin, Virginia (yes, Virginia in Virginia) for about 30 minutes. And she couldn't have been nicer. She said so many wonderful things about my grandfather, Johnnie (goes by Johnnie back in VA and KY, but goes by Wally, here in WA). That's when it hit me. I've been in a daze and crying off and on since then. That's about 5 hours now.
I'm planing on going out to meet them soon as well. I sorta feel like I should just go straight there from here, so that I can save on a flight.
All I want to do at this point in crawl in bed and play on the internet, talk to friends about nothing, and watch drew carey episodes. But alas, the internet over at Battle Ground Mobile Home Park is not letting me connect.
So I walked down the street to Starbucks and am sitting here crying in public. Anything is better than crying in front of loved ones that will want to hug me and try to make me feel better. I just have to have time for myself right now, so heal, and think. But, of course, Starbucks doesn't stay open all night, and I'm being kicked out so they can begin the clean up and go home.
Tomorrow, I will have to be sending the obituary and probably call his cousin again to ask some questions.
Thanks for listening, it's time to pee, before my walk home in Battle Ground.... ugh....

They're Heeeere!

How excited am I?! Really excited. Why? Because the Vegan Craft Sample Bag is finally up for sale!
There's a link in the side bar so you can get your today!
There are so many exciting contributors, I just couldn't wait to get my hands on one. I even had it marked in my calendar for the 14th and much to my surprise, there it was. An update from Emma's K9 Kitchen on my facebook saying that she just got hers. So if you're interested in seeing what it's all about, go for it. It's $25 and you're getting way more than that in goodies.