This was reposted from my myspace blog...

Being happier lately has given me more confidence. Which is good. Going on dates has kept my mind of the reasons I should be sad, ie. losing my a grandmother I will never have the chance to know, and a certain someone changing their phone number and not replying to my message.

How is it, that simply saying, "Why are you being so weird and secretive?" can make someone not reply and ignore you forever? I don't think and explanation is too much to ask for. I'm taking a cue from another friend and being more honest. Being right up front with things. Saying how I feel. This time is backfired on me. I guess it just goes to show, he really was just a weird guy.

Also, is it too much to ask that I meet a guy who doesn't already know my friends? Or know an ex? It makes it sound like I've dated everyone when I really haven't. Serious. I know a lot more girls that have dated way more of my friends than I have.

On another note, Way back when, there was a problem at a job I had. A stupid jerk made my life hell. Told everyone there my business, made lots of people dislike me. Made me look and feel like a pretty terrible person. Was it because he was projecting? Trying to make others feel the way he did inside. Having such a terrible secret. A secret that would ruin him. Put him away for a very long time? People that do those kind of things, don't last very long in prison. Hopefully the next bit of news I hear about him, is that he's been seriously fucked up. Dead or in a coma. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Not because he fucked with me, but with those kids. The kids he said he was protecting from a terrible home life with their stripper/alcoholic mother. But now where do they go? Back to her? Where she'll date low life after low life, that will probably do the same things? I met him when the girls were 12 and 9. It apparently had started when they were 11 and 8. Never had I thought anything was wrong. I hung out with the girls. Was friends with them. It makes me sick. I can't stop thinking about how terrible the whole thing is....